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For years, I've been living a double life. While to the world, I appeared to be an aging programmer and failed musician, the truth was much more sinister. Hidden from everyone, including me, was the ugly, sick truth that this Internet questionnairre exposed.

I am an elf.

And not just an elf, but a capricious, chaotic neutral one at that. A danger to society and friends alike, I march to the blind, mad beat of my own secret drummer. Which explains my secret profession: traveling bard.

They say that admitting you have a problem is the first stage of recovery. Well, so be it.

I am a chaotic neutral elf. Love me for who I am!