The latest salvo in the sino-US Cold War has reached US soil. Snakeheads are land-walking, carnivorous fish that threaten to replace native American fish species. Snakeheads have been found in several states including the Great State of Massachusetts. Snakeheads are a tasty treat dead but a fierce competitor for environmental resources. Because they can open their mouths widely, they can feed on:

  • frogs
  • birds
  • small mammals
  • Perl programmers who fail to read the FAQ

This new “Red Menace” must be stopped — even if it means feeding snakehead sushi to the homeless for free.

Those of you for whom the irony that we can fish North Sea Cod out of existence but are befuddled by several hundred snakeheads is amusing are bad, bad monkeys.

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