As I was walking around my ‘hood today, a fellow was walking his dog. It’s the Fens; that sort of thing happens a lot. Like most urban areas, Boston has some pretty clear ordinances about cleaning up after your pet’s defecation. It’s not uncommon to see an owner of a dog carrying a plastic bag of dog poop in one hand and being dragging along by the dog leash in the other. However, there was an additional element in the offing today that led to tragedy: the fairly cold wintry weather of the Northeast.

As a guard against the cold, this fellow (and many others, I noticed) had a warm cup a’ joe with him. What could possibly go wrong?

As I passed this fellow, he had just finished picking up after his dog, like a good citizen. However, he had to hold three things in his two hands simultaneously: the coffee, the dog leash and the poop. For reasons best left to the reader’s mind, he chose to allocate one hand solely to the task of managing the dog leash and to the other hand fell the twin responsibilities of holding the coffee and the bag of poop!

Needless to say, my delicate and refined sensibilities were bruised.

I can only think of one take away from this: should you find yourself in a similar situation, consider letting the dog run wildly into traffic or not feeding the animal until spring. My Solomon-like wisdom is presented here free of charge.